The Airwaves

*Sweets plays a message on radio airwaves*This is Captain J Sweets, this is a message from SCP Foundation site "Haven". This is a warning, raiders will not be tolerated, looters will be killed on site, we are neutral to anyone who comes to us in a non hostile fashion.

*KKKKKKKKZZZZZZZZRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT* Hello HELLO? *KKKKKKKZZZZZRRRRTTTTT* Sorry the relay dish *KKKKKZZZZRRRRRTTTTT* I SAY the relay dish we have pointed in you direction doesn't get a good signal we been meaning to replace it as soon as we find a better one!

*The voice of VonKraft echos throughout the signal* Ladies and gentlemen, this is Herald VonKraft, CEO and president of Anubis Industries. I'd like to thank you for all your... Shall we say 'business'? Yes, that sounds good.

We're always looking for new hands, and would like to extend an invitation to any and all who wish to pursue a career in bounty hunting or grave digging. we'd also like to take on any bounties that you'd like to have taken care of, for a price of course.

Oh, and to Doctor Sweets of infamous SCP Foundation, I'm willing to barter for a certain pair of book ends that I have in my possession. Tootle-loo.

*A signal comes with the same clarity as Vonkraft's voice. Alice's voice, slightly deeper and more mature but still recognizable is heard on the airwaves*
Greetings Citizens of the waste,
This is The Queen of hearts, the leader of the security department of Anubis Industries... Although Herald might be in control of the company, I will not tolerate sloppiness. He may be more leniant than I am, but if you are to work under the company, you will be under strict command. Otherwise, termination will be necessary.
This is not a savage mission that those of you in the Waste are used to... This is a civilized occupation and you will treat it as such.
The Queen of Hearts, signing off.

Need useful information on your enemies? Look no more. Email OmniB@hackcoar .net for more information.

OmnipresentBacterium wrote:

Need useful information on your enemies? Look no more. Email OmniB@hackcoar .net for more information.

Dear Mr. Bacterium,

I Am mayor Jebidiah of Thunder Bay, and I am in need of a man of your "talents". The pay is good and will pay for any expenses. If you are as good as they say, and the job is done to satisfaction, we may have a more permanent position for you. If you are interested, I would like to meet you in person, if possible, here in town at town hall.

Yours Truly,
Mayor Jebidiah Greene

The Greene family wrote:

Dear Mr. Bacterium,

I Am mayor Jebidiah of Thunder Bay, and I am in need of a man of your "talents". The pay is good and will pay for any expenses. If you are as good as they say, and the job is done to satisfaction, we may have a more permanent position for you. If you are interested, I would like to meet you in person, if possible, here in town at town hall.

Yours Truly,
Mayor Jebidiah Greene

Mayor Jebidiah Greene,

I will meet you at Thunder Bay's town hall at 1:23.

OmnipresentBacterium

*The static on the radio breaks for a moment as VonKraft voice echos over the airwaves*

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is Herald VonKraft, CEO and president of Anubis Industries. I'm here to make two exciting announcements: First, I'd like to announce that the robotic prosthetic division of the Anubis Science Team has made a large break through. We now have high functioning robotics that can be controlled via electrical impulses from the brain.

Second, I'd like to invite anyone who wishes to come see how we work to the official opening of Anubis Tours. All visitors can now have a guided tour of the first floor of the Anubis Industries Complex. Free tours for all, and treats for children 10 and under.

*Sweets voice fills the airwaves*Attention Wasteland, this is Captain J Sweets of the Foundation, this is a warning to Anubis Industries, you fucked up, and now you are targeted, anyone affiliated with Anubis, will be dealt with severely, and Vonkraft, I know you're listening, your squad died slowly, and now, I'm hunting for you, I warned you what would happen if you tried to go after my people, and you did not listen, the hunt starts now.

*The airwaves buzz a bit. After feedback, her voice comes on* Shit, fuck, fuck, damn, Is this wor- Alright. Hello Immortal with the itchy trigger finger. I just want to say... Just kill him, not me and not B... And If Von whatever is on, don't draw us fucking into this mess.

NekoReincarnate wrote:

*The airwaves buzz a bit. After feedback, her voice comes on* Shit, fuck, fuck, damn, Is this wor- Alright. Hello Immortal with the itchy trigger finger. I just want to say... Just kill him, not me and not B... And If Von whatever is on, don't draw us fucking into this mess.

No, your right, i shouldnt hunt you, so I will make this one time only offer, bring down vonkraft, bring him out to the front door of his building, then i want everyone to vacate it.

*KRTZ* SAYA YOU IDIOT! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR WALKY TO PLAY ON THIS AIRWAVE? He wouldn't have KNOWN we worked for him if you didn't open your big fat mouth!

I already knew you worked for him, Vonkraft had me removed from the prison, and told me not to mess with his employees. She just made it possible for your asses to be saved.

*The line is silent for a second. Suddenly music plays in the background* I don't know what you all are saying, Y'ALL JUST GOT PUNKED! *Nervous laugh*

Anna: Attention all bounty hunters, this is Anna, personal secretary and body guard to Master Herald VonKraft. Master VonKraft would like all of his employees to remember that he has their best interest at heart... And that he has put a bounty on Captain Justin Sweets' head, starting at the amount of $1.5 million dollars to be payed in any way you wish.

Thank you.

*I come in over the air waves* Counter offer, 20 million in hard whiskey... for the head of Anna.

Zorua wrote:

*I come in over the air waves* Counter offer, 20 million in hard whiskey... for the head of Anna.

You want just the head?

Figure of speech... I'm trying to save your ass Sweets.

Zorua wrote:

Figure of speech... I'm trying to save your ass Sweets.

And I appreciate that, yet my thirst for whiskey demands answers, do you want just the head, cause seriously that bitch is made of something harder than steel, I tried.

*KRTZ* You do know that this conversation is beng broadcasted all over the wastes right?

Just the head then.

OmnipresentBacterium wrote:

*KRTZ* You do know that this conversation is being broadcasted all over the waists right?

I just killed thirty people with m BODY you think I give a shit who can hear my broadcasts?

*KTZ* Whatevs. Over and out *KRTZ*

*Sweets voice cuts through silent static*You're welcome for the rain waste land, reconstruction is going to begin now.

Anna: *Her voice echos through the airwaves* And you can thank Dr. Sweets for lightning and the wild fire cutting through the Wastes as well.